Supporting Children’s Emotional Regulation: Big Feelings are Part of Growing Up
Emotional regulation is the ability to understand, manage, and respond to feelings in a way that fits the situation. It includes handling emotions like frustration, anger, worry, and excitement without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. For children, emotional regulation is closely linked to their ability to participate in play, learning, and social interactions.
From a developmental perspective, emotional regulation involves both the limbic system (the part of the brain that processes emotions) and the executive function areas (involved in planning, impulse control, and flexible thinking). As children grow, these systems gradually work together more efficiently, helping them move from reacting on impulse to using more thoughtful strategies to cope with big feelings.
Some children may show big outbursts, become easily frustrated, or find it hard to calm down once upset. Others might withdraw, become very quiet, or avoid situations that feel challenging. These responses are common, but when emotional regulation is particularly difficult, it can affect a child’s confidence, behaviour, and relationships at home, school, and in the community.
Occupational Therapists support children to build emotional regulation skills through play-based and practical strategies. This might include movement breaks, breathing and relaxation strategies, visual supports, and routines that help children know what to expect. By learning to notice their feelings and use tools to calm or re-set, children can feel more in control, engaged, and ready to learn.
How parents can support emotional regulation at home
There are many simple, everyday ways parents can support their child’s emotional regulation:
Name feelings out loud (“You look really frustrated that the game is over”) to help your child build emotional awareness.
Stay calm and offer co-regulation first – using a steady voice, gentle touch (if your child enjoys it), and presence to help them feel safe.
Create predictable routines (morning, after school, bedtime) so your child knows what to expect and feels more secure.
Use visual supports like simple charts, timers, or picture schedules to make transitions easier.
Teach and practise calming strategies when your child is already calm, such as slow balloon breathing, counting to 10, or squeezing a pillow.
Offer movement and sensory breaks (jumping, climbing, stretching, or a walk) to help release built-up energy and tension.
Reflect together afterwards (“What helped you feel better?”) to build your child’s own toolkit of strategies over time.
Small, consistent support from trusted adults can make a big difference in helping children feel understood, safe, and more able to manage their big feelings.
How we support emotional regulation at Sunshine Speech & Allied Health
At Sunshine Speech & Allied Health, our Occupational Therapy team works closely with children and their families to understand each child’s unique emotional and sensory profile. We recognise that every child experiences and expresses feelings differently, so we tailor our approach to their individual needs, strengths, and interests.
We support emotional regulation by:
Providing individualised assessments to explore a child’s emotional, sensory, and environmental factors that may impact regulation.
Using play-based therapy to teach and practise regulation strategies in a safe, engaging way.
Incorporating tools such as breathing strategies, movement breaks, sensory activities, visual supports, and “feelings scales” to help children recognise and manage their emotions.
Coaching parents and caregivers in co-regulation strategies, routines, and language they can use at home, school, and in the community.
Collaborating with teachers and other professionals to support consistent strategies across different environments.
Our goal is to help children feel safe, understood, and capable of managing big feelings, so they can build positive relationships, participate in the activities that matter to them, and thrive in their everyday lives.
References
O’Brien, J. C., & Kuhaneck, H. (Eds.). (2020). Case-Smith’s occupational therapy for children and adolescents (8th ed.). Mosby.
Fernandes, B., Keller, P. S., Riediger, M., & Brown, T. (2023). The role of emotion regulation and executive functioning in children’s emotional and behavioural problems. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(2), 1542. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20021542
American Occupational Therapy Association. (2024). Cognitive, emotional, and sensory regulation in pediatrics. Children & Youth SIS Quarterly Practice Connections, 8(1).
